Okay you guys, here it is. Finally.
This four-song EP is a such long time coming, and arduous in every step of the making. I wish I could crank out music a little quicker, but the songs tell ME when they are finished. And what stubborn, fickle, and needy bastards they are.
move on (ep)
one more time
When I started this project back in late 2017, the idea was to create and publish as much music as I possibly could. In three years, I’ve barely cracked 7 tracks total—36 minutes and some change. Not nearly the pace I hoped for, but it’s something, and I’ve learned so much along the way.
I’ve learned that my creative process is slow, messy, and painstakingly detail oriented. But goddamn if it ain’t satisfying when it works.
I’ve learned that being a recording artist is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. It takes every ounce of my being, countless hours of focus, and forces me to confront things about myself that I’d rather avoid. And Murphy’s Law gives no quarter.
I’ve learned to not expect encouragement or support for what I see as such a monumental endeavor. Making music seems like the most important thing that I can do with my life, and it’s disheartening when people around me seem to minimize it, ignore it, or dismiss it as a time suck or a cute hobby. Not that I ever expect a pat on the back for what I do—but it seems the general consensus is, if it’s not making money, it’s not important. So I’ve learned to ignore those voices (or lack thereof) and go my own way, for better or worse.
Most people seem to agree that 2020 is the craziest and shittiest year ever. But those same people were bitching at the end of 2017 like it couldn’t get any worse. That’s a loser’s script, and there’s no happy ending. I pity those who whinge about a number on a calendar, or a list of dead celebrities.
But certainly, 2020 has been transformative for me. I’ve spent more time alone this year than any other year in my life. I decided, really decided to prioritize my creative ambitions instead of forcing them into the margins of my life. I don’t know how long it will last, but I’m doing my best.
But most importantly, this year, I’m beginning to comprehend that our greatest power as human beings is the ability to decide—with intention—the meaning of the world around us. We always choose our own level of involvement, either mechanically or intelligently, and no circumstance or calendar year will ever take that away from us.
So I’ve decided that my life is beautiful and perfect the way it is, warts and all. I’ve decided that when I sink into pits of despair, I will emerge a stronger, wiser, and more empathetic and courageous human being. I’ve decided that I have so much and more to give, to learn, and to appreciate. I’ve decided to embrace my position in the center of my own universe, and that my ability to grow will only stop when I die. I’ve decided that optimism is an effective strategy, and that every situation is an opportunity. I’ve embraced the fact that there is so much I can’t change, that my attention is power, and I should only feed it where I have power to influence.
Not that I have it all figured out, I don’t. Not that I don’t struggle and suffer, I do. I’m just well aware now that, in all my highs and lows, I am the sole arbiter of my existence.
Thank you to Daniel Crawford, one of my best friends, for helping me record parts of this EP and for giving me advice and encouragement when I needed it the most. Dan played live drums for Cosmic Trigger, and helped me flesh out the second half of the song. He helped me record guitar parts for every track. He helped me record sound effects for Obsidian, and he earned a Co-Producer credit for his input on all of the songs.
Thank you to Jason McCulley for doing such a fantastic job mixing and mastering this EP, and remaining so patient with my endless perfectionism. Jason far surpassed any expectation I had, and I don’t think these songs would have reached their full potential without him.
Thank you Nick Hinton for always telling me I’m a good boy, and helping keep my sanity in check. And being the most supportive and stand-up homie a guy could ask for.
Thank you to everyone else that helped me, inspired me, or encouraged me along this journey, no matter how small. It means more to me than you know.